Ideas, thoughts, and rants from along the way…

Archive for January, 2008

Calling all treeclimbers….

As a kid, every emotion was felt on a daily basis. We were moved in some way all the time. Laughter, anger, joy, wonder, fear, excitement, and sadness were part of our day. Why is it that as we get older we lose the ability to be moved? In the attempt to become stable we lose the access to truly living life. In the midst of this world so full of stimuli I find myself on overload. There are so many things going on around us that we become numb to the things that matter. We are not moved anymore! We keep our emotions in check, and our hearts in a box. This is a lose/lose situation. We lose, our families lose, the world around us loses, and God loses. We are not capable of the wonder that once filled our lives. I see wonder as something that is multi-layered. It is full of intrigue and fear, joy and sadness, desire and hesitation. God created us to experience life and do it through Him. I feel that the greatest form of worship is wonder! Being blown away by God. God can be found all around us, and yet we are blinded by our own inability to feel. When I was a kid, I loved trees. I was not happy to just look at them, I wanted to climb them. I knew I would get dirty, and maybe a little hurt, but I did not care because of my wonder. Sometimes the climb was hard, but the view was worth it. I was full of wonder because of the tree, and the view from the tree. Wonder does not come from just experiencing life from our view. we have to see it from outside of ourselves. We have always given my Mom a hard time because of her love of history. We used to go to a place in the mountains called Cade’s Cove. While we were throwing stuff at each other, and finding things to get into, my Mom was imagining what it was like to live in one of the old cabins. She loved the span of emotions that she found as she dreamed of that far away time. I think we treat both life and God like a beautiful tree or an old cabin. It is easier to just look at them and not get emotionally involved. This is why we find ourselves searching so much. We need to feel. We need to cry. We need to laugh. We need to wonder! Love even if it hurts. Laugh even though there is pain. Cry even if people are there. Question even if you are scared of the answer. God did not call us to a life of numb wandering, but a journey of emotion, beauty, and wonder! I think it is about time that I go climb a tree again.

P.S. Mom…..Thanks for the lesson, even though you are sappy about all that stuff.

The greyer I get, the more black and white I become.

I keep getting gray. That really stinks because I am only 28 going on 29. My dad is just now going gray and my mom has like one gray hair and I don’t think that counts. I guess thats what you get when your head never stops. Anyway! i do not consider myself old or anywhere close to it but at the same time I am made aware of the smooth edges that time has worn on me. They say that you mellow out with age, but I do not feel that is the case (or at least with me). There is still a young punk with a chip on his shoulder that lives in me, but I choose not to fight with him anymore. I am not sure if it is physical or spiritual growth (probably both), but I want to be a softy the older I get. I watched my son tonight while we were over at my friend Zack’s house. We were letting him hold Zack’s new baby and he kept putting his cheek against hers and trying to kiss her. i know that the day will come that he will be too cool to do that. Then one day everything will cycle around and he will once again find himself wanting to enjoy the softness of a babies cheek. That is where I find myself. i don’t know if it took me any longer that anyone else or if the road was any harder, but I sure have had a fight. I have always had a rage in me that makes it hard to just enjoy anything, but I find that as I age I see the beauty in childish things. i want to play again! I enjoy tea parties with my daughter, and petting puppies with my son. I no longer feel the need to prove anything to anyone (including myself). I know that somewhere inside of me there is a hard punk trying to get out, but at this point in the game I choose to be a soft pushover. I see this not as weakness, but as strength. Thank you God for allowing me to see the important things in this life while I am still young enough to enjoy them.

I’m glad rain makes things grow…….

I have not been here in a while so I figured that I was long over due.

Has anyone ever had to just trust God?……I know we all have, but I want to want to do it the right way. I think that a lot of times we trust God out of a stressed desperation. I do not want to be that way. Things have been hard lately, and it is easy to forget everything that God has done for you. My children trust me because they know that I will be there for them. They do not question or stress….they just trust. Why do we not relate to God in that way. I really want to. It is easy to trust God when our pride, livelyhood, and future is not on the line, but what about when they are. I find myself in a position that I have never been in before, but I cannot stop believing that God will provide. God called me to follow Him so I know that He will not let me fall. It is just that I am one that has trouble blindly trusting anyone or anything (even the King of the Universe). Sometimes I have to say “I believe, help my unbelief!” Usually if I will just shut-up long enough, God’s word rises up in me and let’s me know that everything is just fine. I have found that it is easier to trust God if we do not lose that ability to praise. I pray that I will never lose the ability to praise God in the midst of a storm. God has always and will always provide. I refuse to lose sight of that. Jehovah-Jireh

Giving me the bird!!

Well, I guess it is about time to do this again. Here we go!

I got flipped off today. I can’t say that it doesn’t happen on a regular basis, but today it got my attention. I really ticked a guy off because I was not moving fast enough for him. I was waiting to pull out, and He wanted me to just go. He could not see the cars on the other side of me, but that did not matter to him. I just smiled at him and moved on.

We are no different in our lives. We get so frustrated with God because He does not move at the pace that we want Him to, but we cannot see the cars coming from the other direction. We live in a fast paced world and our minds never slow down. When we are born, we have toys that light up, and dolls that talk to us. As we get older we get video games and interactive toys. As we reach adolecence we get ipods, tvs, dvd players, and the internet. When we are teenagers, we are constantly talking on the phone and running with our friends (except when we are on myspace). It doesn’t stop there! Then we go to college, and it gets worse. The we get a real job, and then married, and then kids……….Getting the point! When do we ever have time to figure out who we are, and who God is. We don’t! Most people have no idea who they are, let alone who He is. The church doesn’t help either. We have made the Kingdom into one of those teachers that just like to keep you occupied with busy work. Running around doing nothing. When are we going to understand the words “Be still, and know that I am God”! This echoes in Exodus 14:13-17, Psalm 4:3-5, and Psalm 46:10,11. Jesus understood this because He always took time to just go be by Himself. Peter could cut off ears and step out of the boat, but he couldn’t wait with Jesus. Sounds like us! I love the times that my son, or my daughter crawl into my arms and just let me hold them. I bet God wants the same thing. He is not interested in empty words. He is interested in sincere times of prayer, meditation, and devotion. I once heard Larry King ask Mother Theresa what she said when she spent time with God. She said “I don’t say anything, I listen”. Then Larry King asked what God said. She responded with “He doesn’t either, He listens”. We need to learn that concept. I desire to get better at this. I am better than I used to be, but I still need to master the art being still. God wants it, and we need it. God bless you all!

I can’t prove anything!!

Where has all of our faith gone? Everywhere I look, there are more Christians trying to prove that God exists. I can’t figure out why we are trying to bring someone into a faith based relationship with Christ by saturating them with logic and reason. Don’t get me wrong, I love knowledge and facts more than anyone but they do not please God, but faith does (Heb. 12:6). I have committed my life to the study of scripture, science, and history, but ultimately it is my faith that keeps me going. When we build our trust in God on so-called facts of His exsistence we will fall away the first time things don’t add up. We should strive to know God from a heart of faith, instead of trying to develope faith from knowing about God. Everyone is freaking out because of Da Vinci Code. The Christians are scared that it is right, and everyone else hopes it proves us wrong. I don’t personally believe that Jesus was married but what if He was? Would it change anything? Would He be any less of a savior? The answer is NO. I think He would have been an awesome husband and father. Just one more example for us to follow. This is a prime example of how reason and logic is the enemy of faith. Reason and logic are fine in and of themselves, but not as the basis of faith. They should be magnified because of our faith. Christians need to stand up on a foundation of faith and educate themselves. Then we can let eternity prove our point, and in the mean time we can love God, love others, and make disciples.